Do you ever feel like you can’t catch a break? Like you’re juggling life and someone keeps adding additional balls into the rotation and you could drop them any moment?
It was a cold, frigid, February evening and Chris and I were sitting on the couch next to the fire. The three younger kids were contently playing and watching a movie, Penelope was at a birthday party. We were dreaming out loud about a life without boarders. It was a conversation we would regularly have when the routine of sleep, work, parenting, repeat exhausted itself. “What if we could travel full time, writing reviews, blogging and doing odd jobs for money to support ourselves? But then we could see all the great things in America and wouldn’t have to rush home for anything!” is what we would often say. But this time was different. Together we heard God say, “you could do this in my name and be blessed.” For the first time, our dream felt like a possible reality! As soon as we accepted the call God placed on our lives; to become full time RVing domestic missionaries, we were acutely aware that when we are obedient to God and live a radical, out loud, dedicated life to serving the Lord, Satan was going to work overtime to distract, discourage and destroy what God was trying to do.
Fast forward 6 months and the warning we so distinctly remember hearing about guarding our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, about the Devil prowling around like a lion, are true and absolute.
Since February we have: purged 80% of our possessions, sold our home, purchased and moved into a 5th wheel camper, turned our old camper into a rental, participated in our first family mission trip, said goodbye to Chris’ dad, Hazel had emergency surgery, are working on dissolving Chris’ stake in his business, started a new job, started support raising for our mission adventures, Chris is developing his new job with AIM and is completing side jobs for friends and family that have been on the back burner since forever! All the while, managing the changes and transitions as a family of 6 that comes with embarking on this new adventure. Despite all the things, and the struggles, and the emotions and the whirlwinds that come with obedience to God’s will, he has poured out affirmations each and every day. I am so thankful that God’s word is living and active, relevant and true.
In Isaiah 40:28 it says, “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.” How awesome is it that when we are “weary and burdened, he will give us rest?” (Matthew 11:28) I am rejuvenated just knowing that God’s strength is finite and unending! It’s like he already knew that obedience and unswerving faith would leave us feeling tired! His promise is that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9) But like most of the time in scripture, you will see that his goodness, strength, wisdom and power is completely accessible but requires action on our part. Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” It doesn’t say, do you own thing, by your own ability and it will all go smoothly. It requires faith, trust, surrender, obedience. Extremely difficult tasks when you are feeling run down and exhausted. The catch is, if I was actually exercising faith, complete trust, full surrender and true obedience, I probably wouldn’t be as emotionally and mentally exhausted and run down in the first place! I am a work in progress.
I’ll leave you with one more morsel of truth, one that I hope encourages you. Because I’m learning that despite trials, and exhaustion, you can still feel joy.
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
